Sunday, August 21, 2011

Michael and I have been talking. For hours yesterday and today. My mind is racing with so many thoughts and my heart is feeling so many feelings. He said he misses us and wants us to come home.

Part of me wants to believe him, but part of me feels like he is is just saying it. I dont know. I hadn't heard from him in 8 days. EIGHT. That is not acceptable to me. At all. Its not want I want out of a relationship, out of my marriage.

Dont get me wrong. Mchael has so many good qualities about him, but his shortcomings are big ones. I do not deserve to be lied to. I do not deserve to feel less the amazing. I do not deserve to be belittled. I know I have my faults as well. Im controlling, jealous and insecure. I know I dont make Michael feel his best either. We have a lot of work to do and things to try to address. I asked him today if when hes down here, would he be willing to go to marriage counseling. He said he would go.

My mind is going crazy. My head and my heart are in conflict. Not a good thing. He's coming down between the 26-31st. It will be a very hard and good visit at the same time. Wish me luvk folks and send prayers my way.....

Anyways, boy start school tomorrow and I am going to fill out an application at the local Humane Society. I sen in my resume but they also need an on site app filled out as well. HOPEFULLY it will go good. Lord knows Ive been trying to get a job forever!

I will keep you all posted with things as they develop.

Thanks for stopping by----

1 comment:

Aubrey Anne said...

Jen, you're amazing. Let's start with this: Is there a Ross or DD's Discounts in your area? That's where I work, and the company is really great. I'm really enjoying my job, so you should check and see if there is one and apply online! They'll start hiring for the holidays really soon.

Next, let's address your mind in conflict. Of course it is!!! Let it be conflicted for now. There's absolutely no reason to make any decisions right away. Let him show you how his heart has changed; you've known him forever, so you'll know if it truly has or not. Either way you've got a hard road, so just let it develop as it comes to you. You might get more hurt... or you might feel more secure in your new single status. Either way, you've gained knowledge.

I love you! xoxo