Sunday, April 3, 2011


Thats what he say we are. He took his ring off last night.{yet still thinks its ok for us to have sheet time, if you catch my drift.}

Right. In his dreams.

He cannot just rip out my heart, stop on it then pick it back up and give it to me and expect everything to be okay. We are being civil for the kids. We will do all the things that a "normal" seperated husband and wife do.

Holidays, vacations etc. I will have the kids during the school year and he will take them during the summer....we each can go visit the kids when the other has them. It just feels like a dream. A baddd nightmare that I cant wake up from. Part of me sees how he feels that we would be better taking a break for a bit. It would benefit both of us greatly. The other part of me feels like we took vows. Ya know, for better or for worse?!?! Well this is the worse part right here folks. And he's bailing. I feel like we are being adandoned. Throw out. He says he needs no responsibility.

Ummm really. So sorry that we are a hinderance, pal. We just went to the PX here to get the kids some spring shirts. Of course this PX sucks and is way overpriced. So he says lets wait till you get to FL to get the kids tshirts. That way you can go to your consignment {which I do LOVE}

Ohhhhh okay. Awesome plan. We'll just send the boys to school in the 4 tshirts they have and thats fine. Sorry, Im venting.

Im o-v-e-r this drama. I hate the person I morph into whenever Im around him. I dont know if I should even be fighting for him...for us anymore. He's so clearly over it its not even funny. He says he loves and and is still in love with me, but that he needs to go and be by himselffor a while to get back to himself. Ya, but buy a house and have your mom and brother and sister in law and BABY move in. Good way to not make me feel like we're shit.

All I know is that I cant wait to get the fuck outta Germany and back to Fl so I can start to heal myself and these kids...cuz we all know these kids have underlying anxiety that they dont know about. {well, we know about Mikeys. Zach just told me "he's nervous" Great.}

Whatever folks. Whatever. I just dont know what to say anymore.

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