Fun in the sun-- A Reunion (a little late)

So Im sure that everyones been DYING to know just how the heck we are. Things are way slow moving on the job front. Ive applied to probably 20 diferent jobs over the past 2 weeks. Now a days, everyone only takes applications for employment online....which is a big time saver, but a HUGE bump in the road for me.

You all know....Ive been a SAHM {stay at home mom} for the past 8 years....not like I can count that on an application.....But what I lack in "experience" I make up for in Personality and appearence and work ethic. I just need someone to cut me a break and give me the chance to show that that I am a GREAT worker.

*sigh*

The hunt continues. Ive found an apartment that we can move into as soon as I get employment verification.*YAY* It's a beautiful and safe apartment complex right in the heart of the twon I want to be!!!

The kids are slowly adjusting to the split. The boys seem to be handling it better then Hailey, but occasionally Z flairs up with the "I miss Daddy's" too. As for Michael and I, we are being civil for the most part. We dont talk everyday and thats hard for me,but right now its for the best. He is planning a surprise trip down here for Z's (and his} birthday on August 30th! I know the kids will be so so happy and surprised! { and I know I will be glad to see him too}

I had to apply for Food Stamps yesterday. It was one of the most humbling and terryifying experiences I have had so far. I know that it's a good thing right now and I def. do not plan on staying on them forever, but right now, ANY help I get would help us all. I mean I came down here with 600 dollars to my name and 3 kids....Now Im down to 200. Thank goodness for my mom and her boyfriend and the occasional dinner at my dads, or I dont know what I would be doing.....

Anyways, things are slowly working out. God has His plan in HIS time. I need to remember that.

Here's a few pictures from the first week we got back. Hope you like em.

Worlds Most Famous Beach

                            
                 Hailey checking out her shadow!{what?!?!? there wasn't a lot of sun in germany!)

                        
                                Mikey out in the country {by my mom's boyfriends house}

 
                                       ZB on the tire swing

Hailey and Uncle Bryan swimming in the poo; at Bryan and Stephs !st wedding anniversary get-together

Mikey and Zach with their great-grandma {we call her Ding} Her boyfriend owns all the ice cream trucks on the beach, so thats how they all got to go in so I could snap this cool pic!}

My nephew Ian!!!!!! I didnt put him down the whole day. Urghit kils me that they have moved to NC just as I get back! :( Isn't he so fat and handsome!?

 Hailey and her cousin Ian...awww!

Ian again! :) Love the cheesy lil smile!

 Hailey playing peek a boo. awww.

OK all, have a good one and I will catch up soon! <3

Incompatible

Thats what he say we are. He took his ring off last night.{yet still thinks its ok for us to have sheet time, if you catch my drift.}

Right. In his dreams.

He cannot just rip out my heart, stop on it then pick it back up and give it to me and expect everything to be okay. We are being civil for the kids. We will do all the things that a "normal" seperated husband and wife do.

Holidays, vacations etc. I will have the kids during the school year and he will take them during the summer....we each can go visit the kids when the other has them. It just feels like a dream. A baddd nightmare that I cant wake up from. Part of me sees how he feels that we would be better taking a break for a bit. It would benefit both of us greatly. The other part of me feels like we took vows. Ya know, for better or for worse?!?! Well this is the worse part right here folks. And he's bailing. I feel like we are being adandoned. Throw out. He says he needs no responsibility.

Ummm really. So sorry that we are a hinderance, pal. We just went to the PX here to get the kids some spring shirts. Of course this PX sucks and is way overpriced. So he says lets wait till you get to FL to get the kids tshirts. That way you can go to your consignment {which I do LOVE}

Ohhhhh okay. Awesome plan. We'll just send the boys to school in the 4 tshirts they have and thats fine. Sorry, Im venting.

Im o-v-e-r this drama. I hate the person I morph into whenever Im around him. I dont know if I should even be fighting for him...for us anymore. He's so clearly over it its not even funny. He says he loves and and is still in love with me, but that he needs to go and be by himselffor a while to get back to himself. Ya, but buy a house and have your mom and brother and sister in law and BABY move in. Good way to not make me feel like we're shit.

All I know is that I cant wait to get the fuck outta Germany and back to Fl so I can start to heal myself and these kids...cuz we all know these kids have underlying anxiety that they dont know about. {well, we know about Mikeys. Zach just told me "he's nervous" Great.}

Whatever folks. Whatever. I just dont know what to say anymore.