Monday, October 27, 2008

1 week

Ok, so a warning in advance...this is going to bore a lot of you out of your mind! i don't care!!! I;m beyond aggravated and I cannot and will not hold it in any longer!!!!!! I love my husband, I really do, but his selfishness this past week has floored me. He usually is amazing about calling whenever he's away, but not this time. Its been a week since I've heard from him and frankly, I'm peeved. Now I know he's a busy,busy man in Kuwait. With the move to good ol' Iraq in a few days, I know he has a lot of packing to do and I'm sure he's helping his soldiers out as well. However, I know that he isn't working 24/7 and despite the 8 hour time difference between us, is it really that hard to get on a phone???? I mean for goodness sakes, I'm due with our third (and final) child in 4 weeks( thanks to being induced) and I haven't even gotten the chance to tell him his daughter is coming early. For all he knows, I could have had her already.....Not to mention the fact that his 2 boy miss him and need to hear daddy's voice. My friend, whose husband is deployed with mine says that I shouldn't worry about it and that they have a lot going on and that's probably why he's not calling. Well, no offense but that's all easy to say when you have heard from your husband!!!( I'm not trying to be a b*#@h, no offense really) Its not that I'm worrying about it and much as it's pissing me off. Seriously folks. He's usually not like this. The last time we talked, everything was a.o.k....i could understand if we were fighting or something, but everything was great. There's so many things I need to talk to him about.Mikey got his soccer pictures back, the Hailey news, and not to mention money talk. I want to find out who his driver and gunner are so that I can send stuff to him,for them, for Christmas.Mikey's conference,Zachary's rebellion....ahhhhh! I don't think he really gets the fact that going from seeing and talking to him everyday to not seeing him or talking to him at all is wayy hard on me. I'm not asking for an everyday thing, but geeze. I'm sure he has no problem getting on the computers over there to check out his football stuff on ESPN. It just must be wayy to much more effort to send me even a quick e-mail. I'm holding down the fort all by myself( which isn't the first time) and all I ask for is a "hey baby, how you doing. i miss you and love you". That's all I need to get me through this freaking deployment...not even that much..just hearing his voice is enough for me.

I'm sure a bunch of you are thinking I've gone crazy. Lost it. Looney Tunes. Maybe I am over-reacting a bit. After all the man is heading to a war zone. I know that it's not easy for him to be away from us...especially since he will miss the birth of our last and only daughter. I understand that part of him has to detach emotionally in order to focus on doing what he's got to do in order to come home safe.

I can deal with 4 days. Maybe even 5, but a whole week is pushing it. Especially since he's only in Kuwait. Once he lands in Iraq, its all work work work. If i cant count on hearing from him now, while he's safe, whats going to be the timeline once he gets to Iraq??? 2, maybe 3 weeks???? No way. So, here I am sitting and waiting with my cell phone by my side(ok stuffed in my bra cuz the pants I'm wearing have no pockets) waiting -again- to hear the phone ring and pray its him.
Wish me luck & some sanity..I'm on the edge of needing it!

3 comments:

The Mrs. said...

I dont think your losing it. Not at all. Its so hard when they are gone all we have to hold on to are phone calls and emails. And I'm like you if you have a 24 hr day why cant you take 10 mins to call me... even if you have to stand in line for an hour that still leaves 23! I'm sure he has good reason, its so hard to get thru to them sometimes. Just remember... men can be dense. very dense. and another thing, not that it excuses it, it might be his way of handling being away from yall.

hang in there.

The Mrs. said...

by the way I added you to my blogroll. Thanks for the compliment and thanks for stopping by. Hope to see you again!

Anonymous said...

Hi Jen!

Listen, I completely get your aggravation!
You posted on my hubby's page, through this I may find me.

If you ever need anyone to talk to I am here. You can email me though because I don't keep a blog. Im home with 3 boys, and college so I dont have the time for it. My email is leela8985@hotmail.com