Things are Looking Up.....

Hello my bloggy friends. Its been a bit and there's so much to share with you. Actually, not really, but I will catch you up to date anyways!

Tomorrow, is teacher meet and greet for Mikey and Zachary at school. They are excited and nervous, but ready to go back. Honestly so am I. I love them like crazy, but mama is readdyy! LOL! Their first day is this Monday, the 22nd. They are all ready to go with school supplies and new school clothes. Yay!

Things are in the works for my photography. Sherri is creating CDs of a slideshow I made of my work and handing them out at her Special Event Conference.{SQUEAL!!} I have created {temporary}business cards that she is so generously going to hand out as well. I am in the process of designing my real business cards and having them printed out. My brother Tim, being the computer genius he is, is going to make me a snazzy professional website.

Yesterday, I spent a good 10 hours writing up a business plan for Meaningful Moments Photography. I need to by the Trademark for it, so no one else can steal my name.....which I just found out someone has bought the DOMAIN name for Meaningful Moments Photography. They aren't listed in the United States Patent and Trademark Office as having registered, so that means I can still by it. That is my next plan of action.

I just cannot believe that this is happening. I am so incredibly grateful to Sherri for taking me under her wing a bit and helping me in the right direction. With all that is going on with my life right now {the seperation from Michael, relocating, being a single mom, and leaving the Army lifestyle that I so love} I put my photography dream on the back burner. It could never go OFF the burner because I have to much passion for it, but it seemed completly out of reach. Now, I feel like maybe just maybe its back on the front burner. Its an indescribable feeling to think that my dream my actually be achievable.

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Things with Michael are still the same. {big surprise, right?!?} Last friday was the last time I talked to him. We had a good conversation. He was in a contemplative mood. At least thats how I took it. The boys wanted to talk to him  Friday night {or Saturday morning?} so I called him and got the voicemail so Mikey told him to call him back and that he loved him......no call back. I called the next day and got voicemail and left him a message saying that the kids wanted to talk to him and that Mikey left him a VM. Still, no call. At this point, I am LIVID! WTF? If it was the other way around and he had the kids, I know I would be calling the at least twice a day and forget about it...if the kids called me, you bet your ass I would be calling them back. He is making me so sad. My heart is broken over the seperation of Michael and I but it continues to break over the hurt that these kids have to be feeling. They miss him and need him and want to talk to their daddy. What did they ever do to deserve this kind of treatment? Nothing, thats what.

I understand Michael has issues going on that is a sickness. He cant help it, but he can try to get help for it.
I feel like he's just so lost in his own mind that he doesn't know what he is doing. His rationality is M.I.A. He is coming down around the 30th to visit. I didnt want him staying here because of a few reasons. One, he refused to help out more, financially.{other then his support he's giving for the kids monthly.} I asked him if he could help with some more money so we can get in here and settled and he told me no. I didnt and still dont really want him here. This is MINE and he doesnt get to come in a act like he's king of this castle. Secondly, I dont want the kids to start thinking that "daddys home.' This visit is going to be a good visit. I know it is. Michael and I will be fine and it will be like we're a happy family again.....but I need Michael to understand that he has to make up his mind. He cannot "play" family and then go back up to GA and date people. He will not have his cake and eat it too.

I dont get any feeling from him that he wants to fix things with me. He repeatdly told me in the beginning of our seperation " I didnt leave the kids Jen, I left you." Ouch.
 I know he loves me no matter what he says. I know he wants us to be a family. I know it. I believe it in my heart that the love is still there. Maybe Im a sucker and I just am feeling what I feel for him, or maybe Im not. I do know that this is going to continue to be a long long road. Right now I am living life for my babies and myself. Im doing things thsat make us happy, and whole and complete without him. I am trying to ween the kids off of calling daddy every time it comes out of their mouth. Its not that I am trying to keep them from him or vice versa, but there are way too many times that they cant talk to him becuase he doesnt answer or call back. Im trying to save their little hearts from being disappointed and let down. Am I doing the wrong thing?
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As far as my CNA stuff goes, I am hoping to take the State test sometime in sept. I am waiting on a letter to go and get my fingerprints done {by the FBI!!!} Once that happens the FBI!!! will tell the State that I am eligible to take the state test. Then the state will mail me a letter with my test date. Im nervous but still excited about it. Im going to move forward with that until I can get in making enough money in Photography to not do it. I mean who knows, maybe I will continue with it and do my photography. Only time will tell.

Ok folks, theres my update. LOL. I hope you all are having a blessed life. Remember, "what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger."


Till next time-----

The Paperwork is IN!

Yup, you all read that title right. The med board paperwork for Michael has been submitted. We should know in {hopefully} a week or so weather it will be a go for him to go to Fort Gordon, GA.

And us to FL.

We could be in FL by May 21. That's like REALLY soon everybody.

Im looking forward to becoming independant yet I am heartbroken and devistated at the same time. Michael said the counslor he is seeing wants to do a marriage counseling session with us, so I agreed. I dont think this is going to change anything and at this point even if he did say he wanted us to stay together, Im pretty sure Id say no. He's right. I need to gain my independance. I want to gain my independance.

I cant deny the fact that Im looking forward to the sun and beach also. Albeight, Im not exactly sure how much time Im going to have to be lounging around.....

My mom is going to look for an apartment for me on Thursday.Its the complex she stayed at when her and my dad first seperated. Ive been to her apartment while she was living there and they are super nice and affordable{thanks to it being subsidized} Its beautiful and more inportantly, safe. She knows the manager well, so hopefully she can pull a few strings and get meand the kids in.
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Zacharys teacher told me today that she thinks it would be a good idea for Z to repeat Kindergarten again. He's not reading-at all and since he is the youngest in the class,she feels his maturity and impulse control inst there yet. Cant say I disagree.I mean if he was born just 1 day later, he would not have been able to enroll this year...one day. Im not too upset about this though. I stayed back in Kinder also because I was shy.{quit laughing....I still am shy to this day} and Michael stayed back in Kinder also but then skipped 7th and 8th grade. It will benefit him greatly I believe.

On a side note, have you every seen the movie The Lazarus Project?
If not, you should. Great movie. {click the link above to see the trailer}

Ok everyone, that was a quick update. I will be back when theres more stuff to share! ;)

Where Oh Where Could She Be???

Right here! Thats right friends. Im BACK! Honestly, I haven't had much desire to blog lately. Shocker, I know. I dunno whats up. But for now, I am here.

Whats new???

Besides the whole Scarlet Fever episodes we have been having around here and the squashing of my college dreams, not much has been happening.

Yes, I did say Scarlet Fever.

Yes, I did say I have had my college dreams squashed...but only temporarily.

About a week ago, my Z got a fever. It came on suddenly and rose fast. Next was the itchy, bumpy, sandpaper-like rash all over his stomach, back, arms and face. I felt sooo bad for him. We took him to our peditrician {who is fabUlous btw} and he said it was in fact SF. Of course. come to find out, the school knew that this was going around and said nothing to notify parents. Booo to that! So he put him on some Amoxicillian and cured that bad boy in about a week.

A week later. Mikey starts complaining that his throat hurts. No fever, but.....dun dun dun-----

a rash. Not just any old rash either. It was that same itchy sandpaper-like bugger that nailed my Zachy. Off to the {worlds best} Peditrician again. Confirmed. Scarlet fever. Blek. You have got to be kidding me! He is now on Amoxicillian as well. He has probably 5 more days left and he should be CURED!

Cured Cured MY BABYS CURED!!!!

Bwhahahaha sorry, I couldn't contain it!!!

I asked Dr. J if Hailey was going to be next in this nasty chain of sickness. He said she shouldnt catch it because it only mostly affects older kids. I was hoping he'd say that!!! And of course, Dr. SuperMan was right. Hailey didn;t get sicky! Yipee!!!!!

Hub and I are in the clear too. Off I send the kids back to school.

Only to find out------

Theres a nasty tummy bug going around. {diarehha and vomiting included}
Really?!?!?! I though Fort Riley was bad with everyone being sick all the time! WRONG! Here in Baumholder it seems like there is a new something sprouting up every other week. I like to attribute it to the lack of Vitamin D we experience here. Ya know, good ol' SUNLIGHT!?!

To say I am ready to be CONUS {Continental United States for you non military folk}would be a huge understatement.I am ready for our forever home. Im ready to put down roots. But more importantly, I am ready to be with family. I think it's because I am getting older, that I now truely value and need my family. Sure, I love them. I always have, but now I just crave to be around my family. And my husbands family too.

My brother and his wife's baby IAN.......he's 6 months old already. And he hasn't even met his Auntie Jen yet. In his little world, Auntie Jen doesn't exist. That breaks my heart and is all I think about whenever I see a new and adorable picture of him.

Oh what, you want to see him???

OKAY!! No twisting of my arm needed!!!!

                          {Oh, btw,thanks Bry. I stole this handsome chubby fella from your FB page!}
He doesn't even know me. :(  Moving on.....
The cute fat baby side-tracked me.

Not that I want to relive this, but.......the squashing of my college dreams.

Yea.

Only temporarily though.

The lady { head of my university of choice} said it would be no problem for me to take the COMPASS placement test all the way out here in Germany. This was back in January. She told me to study {learn} Algebra and let her know when I was ready. She even cooridinated it with the head of testing here.

Great. I was surprised how smoooth it went.
Flash back to a few days ago.{Monday} I emailed the head of my university and told her I was ready to take the test. She didnt even remember where I lived. I re-explained to her that hubs is AD Army and we were here in Germany. This time, she said that the COMPASS does not have an approved testing site there so we would have to think of Plan B.

Really? I have no plan B. She then asked me when we would be back to the States.

Unnn hellooooo. This is the US Army lady. Everyone knows there is never, ever EVER a set time frame to anything! So yea. I started looking around and found a community college in GA who offers an AA in Nursing. Basically, its an accellerated degree program specifically for the nurse-to-be. It offers non traditional students Guaranted admission. That's me. I'm non-traditional, baby. That's just how I roll!

They also require students to submit immunization records. How freakin cool is that??!?! Ive never heard of a college or university doing that. Maybe I live under a rock...or, ya know, Germany.
So as of now, my schooling plans are on hold. Hopefully, the head of the university and the head of the EDU center here can make it work, but if not...I will have to wait till we move home.....home. That has a nice ring to it.

As for hubby, he is recovering from having his gallbladder removed, so his Physical therapy for his ankle had to be put on hold. That means that everything was put on hold....including the medboard process. Hopefully its still a go in April, but time will tell. I know I have been doing a terrible horrible no good very bad JOB at updating and I'm sorry. I am also sorry to see that I have lost a follower. I do notice each and everyone of you that follow me. I do try to read as many of your blogs as I can. { and I do read each and every comment}

Oh well, what can you do? Can please everyone all the time, right???

So yea. Thats whats been going on 'round these here parts. Joy, huh?!?!? I hope all of you are doing well and thank you for stopping by my little blog.

Till next time. { cant promise when that will be though! {hopefully I will still have some followers.}

Mish Mosh...Pish Paush

Can y'all tell I was struggling with a title!?! LOL. When in doubt, rhyme. Rhyming works wonders. Anyways, it's Wednesday night. The week is near end. Well, tommorrow is my Friday seeing as the last day of school for my Mikey Pie rolls in tomorrow.(and its a half day to boot)

I have a feeling I am in for a long, long haul this summer. The boys have been fighting like cats  and dogs tonight. Zachary has been a butt ( toput it mildly) for like the last week.Not listening at.all. and sassing me back. Then, tonight, I told Mikey to shut off the Tv because he had watched enough and he said no and sat there and blank stared at the Tv like I didn't even talk. He was in time out in the corner for a while after that one.Ugh.

I'm also a fired up because as you all know ( or should  know if you have been reading my blog enough) that my hub for the past month has been guarding the TOC at nights. Well,in the last 60 days, he has literally had 4 days off.I'mnot lying folk. F-O-U-R. Keep in mind that Tuesday was his last day of guard and so we thought he was going to be "home-free" for the last two days.(Friday his company is going on leave for 17 days.)

Well, hub and I couldn't have been more wrong. Today, his SSg. told him that he was going to the field for these last two days. Really? I just fires me up b/c this guy is all nice and polite and considerate seeming when he calls here asking for Michael,but now he seems like an ass. Pardon the french, but we are all grown ups here.....well,most of us are! LOL. He had the power to give my hub these two days off, but he chose to not let him.

Also, a few days agoafter hub got off guard and slept for a few hours, he went to play in a golf tournament with a buddy.Well, apparently some SGT was there that knew Michael's SSg an went and told him that Michael was golfing.

Ummm ya, are you getting this out there in bloggy land???

It was his friggin day off and SSg told my hub"well why should you get a day off when the rest of the company has been in the field busting their As*es off and you have been playing golf."

Yes folks, those were his words.

His exact words.

Now who does this guy think he is? The only way I could see him having any, any right in saying anything about what my husband chooses to do in his leisure time is if for some reason it affected his job performance.
(which as far as I know, it has not.)

So at 11 a.mthis morning, myhub was off to the field for....a day and a half. Seriously ladies and gentlemen, I kid you not. I couldn't make this stuff up even if I tried!!!!

Ugh. I have good mind to march my butt  up to battalion and let them have a piece of my mind.
Maybe, just maybe.

Bad leadership is to blame for this one.I feel like he is being penelized for tearing ligaments in his foot.Like he did that on purpose. Pa-lease. He has been dealing with the run-a-round with the Army about his foot for years now.

Whatever. That's all I have to say about that. WHAT. Ever! I know it sounds like I am super cranky,but honestly, I'm not. There's just a lot of stuff going on at the moment. Hmm what else is up here at The McNeil's?

I am potty training my Hailey. She's doing really well.She tells me when she has too "poo" which means pee so far...lol. Sometimes she makes it and sometimes she tells me after she has already gone in her undies. OK, enough poo conversation. I'm even grossing myself out...and it's my own kid. And I don't get grossed out easily.

So enough about us. What's going on in your worlds? Yes, I have been blog browsing and have most likey read about it, but I thought I'd ask anyways. ;)
 Alright bloggy blog friends. My back is hurting from sitting in the freakin chair.....so that's my cue to biz-zounce!

Thanks for stopping by and I will talk to you again real soon!!

ps- my space bar key has been sticking so if you see run on words likethisthen you know why. Sorry! :)


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